coffee & rain ~

It is raining and raining here. I'm not complaining... nope! I remember this time last year we had burn bans and fires. Today, however, there was flooding everywhere. I can't say that I saw this firsthand since I didn't actually leave the house today. Well, I did walk out to get the mail & something out of my car... does that count? Matt called at least every hour to tell me about the massive amount of water everywhere.

So, I've started drinking coffee! Matt just can't believe it. We've been married 18 years. I have made coffee every day (except some weekends when he beats me to it) and have never had one cup - EVER! Well, Julie mentioned that she was drinking it in place of a soda in the morning so I thought I would try it. Matt likes flavored coffee... like hazelnut or cinnamon. I buy these because even though I never actually drank any, at least it smelled yummy. So, I bought some of that powdered creamer stuff in a few flavors and had splenda packets. One big cup of coffee is one weight watcher point! Funny thing is that it seems to make me sleepy to drink it. I can't imagine that it is a reaction to the coffee, it has caffeine for goodness sakes, but I do feel very sleepy after a cup. I have also quickly found that like my coke with sonic ice, I prefer my coffee in a styrofoam cup too. Go figure! I also found a caramel drizzel coffee yesterday that is foldgers gourmet. It is really pretty good. Like I said, this is all new to me... but anything to wean the coke is a good thing. I have always hated coffee breath! I don't like it on me either. I guess that's what mints were made for. Matt thinks it is "cute" (his word) that I am a new coffee drinker. My mama will flip when she hears, she never touches the stuff :o)...

The monkeys kids are enjoying summer! Emelia has had a friend over since yesterday and just walked in (it's 9:00 p.m.) to ask for a bowl to put worms in! I hate worms fyi and do not want any worms in any of my bowls thank you very much. She saw my reaction and remembered the disposable dora the explorer bowls in the kitchen and out she went! Amanda stayed at a friend's house last night and I think she is avoiding finishing her unpacking!

I chatted online with Marcia yesterday, she asked how I am able to show attention to all the kids when Izzy takes a lot of my attention. I thought this was probably a good question to answer here... They are all so different. Emelia is thrilled to run errands with me, or do nails. I had my pedicure a while back with the french tips and she wanted one too. So, she and I went and bought the french manicure set and did her nails and toenails Saturday night. They actually turned out pretty good! Bailey is pretty much my shadow. He is a sweet 13 year old and will just hang out with me. I spend a lot of time with him. Amanda is almost 17 (yikes) and she is more like another grown up or friend. But I am careful to make sure she knows that I am the mom! She does her own thing a lot, but will just spend time with me.

One more thing... tonight was grilled burgers on my MPM... and Friday is those pioneer woman chicken sandwiches... anyway, I cooked half of that peppered bacon I bought for Friday and used half of the colby cheese too for the burgers. I seasoned them with the Emeril SW seasonings that Amberly mentioned using on her chicken and those were some really delicious burgers! Don't worry, I only had one and it was small... and a corn on the cob! Yummy!
The corn farm locally doesn't have the corn ready yet, but mom and dad stopped out of town this weekend at another farm and brought me a bushel of corn, so I got it all cleaned up and put in freezer bags. I just love Summer with all the fresh veggies!

In my boiling pot~

So I was over at Karen's blog (Irritable Mother)... if you haven't visited Karen, you wouldn't know that she is also an author and motivational speaker for mothers. Anyway, I was watching one of the videos on this page, and although I have heard this analogy several times in my life it has really been on my mind. She talks about a silversmith, boiling the silver to bring out the impurities.

The closer I walk with God, the more impurities I am seeing in myself. It isn't an easy journey. The self-realization aspect alone is nothing short of frightening. I really have to trust God and know that He is my heavenly Father, that He will not hurt me if I let myself be completely vulnerable. You know those times in youth group or in movies where you are told to fall back into someone's arms? It is that on such a bigger scale.

We have been in a place of limbo for a while. Mainly in our church situation. I've talked about this before, we love the church family at Choctaw, but desire more in the teaching area. We have looked to other places for our meals that feed our faith. These meals have done nothing short of filling us up and for that we are so thankful. I grew up where obedience meant following the rules, it was about the rules. I am finding through my personal journey that rules are important, but that God wants me to live a holy life. Set apart. If I live a holy life, rules are a mute point. The rules are a result of the right life.

My husband (bless his heart) is a fan of the "wives submit yourselves to your husband" scripture... oh and he also loves the "wives should not deprive... I Cor 7:5." But that is another story :o). Anyway, my point is that if you love your husband, really love him and he loves you like Christ loved the church, you would submit to him without thought. I think the same is true with God. If I love God, know Him through His word, let Him work in my life, my life will become a holy life, set apart.

So I keep having imperfections revealed to me, almost daily ... I am really praying about these things. I really feel like the world has it's hooks in me and I'm trying to break loose. Do you have these feelings? Do you feel like the world is pulling you away from living right?